My favourite coaching tools: The CIA Of Any Situation

Control Influence Accept was taught to me a few years back by one of the team leaders I was coaching in agile mindset and approach to team and delivery. I am not sure where it originated as a consequence and searches on Google have been non-satisfactory.

CIA For Control Influence Accept Any Situation

Essentially, as the C-I-A was explained to me, every situation that one finds oneself in (as I explain to coachees), one asks upto 3 questions in the order Control - Influence - Accept (CIA):

Question 1: Can I Control this situation?

If yes, then Control it (by using your management position or leadership)!
If no, then ask the next question,

Question 2: Can I Influence this situation?

If yes, then Influence it (by working with your network, expanding your network, orchestrating and asking your network for assistance in changing the situation)
If no, then ask the next question,

Question 3: Can I Accept this situation?

If yes, then Accept it (by opening your heart and open your mind and embracing it, so that your new personal reality becomes your new personality)
If no, then you have only 1 healthy choice - to leave the situation.

Failure to Accept the situation, and not leave this situation will cause you stress and all the negative consequences that stress brings. It will lead to negative behaviours and cynical comments leaking out, causing you to be mis-labelled further deepening the pygmalion effect and negative vicious reinforcement cycles. (see my post on labels being applied to people and more importantly how you can help the team "fix" the problem)

So you can use the CIA for personal coaching, and you can use it for team coaching quite effectively as well. I typically use it for helping teams understand if the potentially SMART-ifiable productivity improvement and/or happiness improvement actions they have proposed within the team's periodic Retrospectives are actually Achievable.

I did see several parallels in Stephen R Covey's excellent The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People where he discussed the 3 spheres that we live and work within as concentric circles. The Control Sphere is the smallest space, followed by the Influence Sphere, followed by the Accept Sphere. Basically we need to realise how little in life we do control, versus how much we think we control. An example he uses is the common illusion of control when driving in our carefully selected vehicle...and getting stuck in a traffic jam. We think because we can control our music selection, volume, air temperature and fan speed, we have control, but actually we have to accept that the dynamic system of the traffic on the roads is in control, we have very very little in reality.

I am planning on adding another 2 posts to extend the conversation and observations I've had about this CIA over the past 5+ years, so keep an eye out for the followups!

Thankyou for reading! I bumped into a previous team member after 6 years, and he is still using this fantastic tool with his own teams ever since!

Stephen Covey

Just saw this via linkedin: http://www.usatoday.com/money/books/story/2012-07-16/stephen-covey-obituary/56251996/1

My condolences to all of Stephen R Covey's friends and family members - he and his books have helped so many with so much. And me especially. I recommend the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People to nearly every one I coach or mentor.

Things will never be the same after this.

Stephen R Covey Helped So Many In So Many Ways

My favourite coaching tools: Labels and Believing Is Seeing!

Caveats:
This is a group exercise and great for team building. At certain times during the session some people's emotions might rise due to frustration at being misunderstood.

As coach you MUST manage the level of frustration (a little is good, too much is bad) in order to allow the group to fully experience and gain from the steps below. Most participants however are quick to see the simulation for what it is and self-control themselves accordingly. If you feel unsure, practice with a smaller group of friends, for instance, who can safely give you feedback throughout to ensure you are able to facilitate it correctly to the intended benefits.

Always remain on the safe side - for your sake and for your participants' also!

Required:
- Enough labels to get people into groups of 6 - preferably the labels are on little hats so that the people who are labelled do not know their own label (sometimes I use post-its stuck to foreheads but this does not work in warm sweaty conditions, sometimes paper tape/medical tape but have the same problem with sweaty foreheads, sometimes name badges tied on short strings under people's chins).

- Labels should be written (or use symbols) big enough so that other people can read them from 2-3 feet away.

- Labels suggested in Quick Team-Building Activities for Busy Managers: 50 Exercises That Get Results in Just 15 Minutes by Brian Cole Miller include "laugh at me", "disagree with me", "leader", "brown noser", and many more - *BUY THE BOOK*. I've also used Belbin's team roles for labels, as well as Belbin team role opposites (see Coaching with Belbin for details). Sometimes I just make them up based on the group and behaviours I have observed.
- Printouts for half the group of Stephen R Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (*BUY THE BOOK AND READ FOR FULL DETAILS*) Young Lady:

- Printouts for half the group of Stephen R Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (*BUY THE BOOK*) Old Lady:

- A digital projector and computer in order to show the group Stephen R Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (*BUY THE BOOK*) Both Ladies picture:

- 15 minutes for the first "Label Game" session

- 15 minutes for the second "Believing is Seeing" session

- 15-30 minutes for open group discussion to ensure lesson properly understood and people back to normal

Step 1:

Explain the basics of the "Label Game" to the participants:

- Everyone will receive a "secret" (from them) label that they should not see before the end of the exercise

- No one should tell someone else what their label is

- The groups will be given 7 minutes to plan something (department party, a new fun game, who to choose to evacuate a doomed earth, survive for 24 hours in a desert/artic, etc)

- As the group discusses, the participants must proact/react to the label of the person

- By the end of 7 minutes, people will be asked what they think their label is, before being allowed to look

Step 2:

Break the group into sub-groups of 6, distribute and place the labels on each member so that they are unable to see their own label.

Step 3:

Start the timer! Remind the participants about good timebox strategies to ensure they succeed with their discussion. Help with time keeping.

Step 4:

Time up! Let the groups discuss amongst themselves and get an indication of how many people realised within 7 minutes of simple discussion, what label they were wearing! Usually >75% correctly guess or infer their label based on how others were interacting with them.

Step 5:

Open the discussion up to the whole group. Good questions like "How did it feel to be treating people according to their label?", "How did it feel to be treated according to a label that was not visible to you?", "What about the labels we're treating each other with continuously in the day to day work?", "What are the dangers of labels?", "What are the pros of having labels?", "How do our labels affect us?", "Labels versus Job Title?" and see what thoughts and feelings are provoked by the group.

Be strict with your own time management as there is still the second session to run!

Step 6:

Get people to become 1 group again, this time split them down the middle.

Step 7:

Without making it obvious that there are 2 different pictures being given out, distribute the "Young Lady" above facedown to half the group, and distribute the "Old Lady" above facedown to the other half of the group.

Ask the participants to turn over the picture and stare at it for 30 seconds, and then to put it away. Help them with timekeeping and ensuring they're focussing on their own picture only.

Step 8:

With the pictures away, turn on the projector and show the group the "Both Ladies" picture.

Step 9:

Ask the participants to stick their hands up if they recognise the picture. Now ask 1 "random" person from the "Old Lady" group what they see. Then ask 1 "random" person from the "Young Lady" group what they see.

Step 10:

Now ask the whole group to raise their hands those who see an Old Lady? And then ask those to raise their hands who sees a Young Lady? Act confused and ask how is it possible - surely they're looking at exactly the same, unmoving picture on the screen - how could it be that people are seeing different things? And then ask who sees both an Old Lady and a Young Lady?

The groups are usually quite fun and energised by this time so allow them to discuss and try to resolve the different perceptions they have. People will come up to the screen and start tracing out the different curves, arguing, getting frustrated, getting amused and slowly all or most of the group will eventually see both pictures. (as an aside, what does it mean if someone is unable, even after a lot of help, to see both ladies?)

Step 11:

Now explain it the way Stephen R Covey does: "It's not logical, it is psychological!"..."the way we see the problem IS the problem!" 

Step 12:

And now ask similar questions of the Label Game session. Ask how this kind of knowledge, this insight might have changed how they approached problems in the past, and how they will approach problems in the future? Are the problems restricted to work problems, or are "people problems" also now more approachable? And so on.

Before running this session, I strongly recommend buying both books linked above and reading them properly for more many more details than I've summarised here. 

I find the 2 exercises even more beneficial for individuals I am coaching who attend, especially if they have already covered Belbin's Team Role Inventory Theory, Myers Briggs Type Indicator and Preferred Auditory, Visual or Kinaesthetic Communication Styles. For additional benefit, these sessions, run before coachees attempt their first feedback gathering from peers, also help to give people more self confidence in the collection, in the giving, and in the understanding of the content+emotion they receive from other people. We are all human, even if often it appears we are, or they, are not! ;-)

My favourite coaching tools: Belbin's Team Roles

Caveats:

Before I get into the details of the free Belbin Test: all my favourite coaching tools - free, online, or other - need to be applied with sensible and cautionary advice from statistician George EP Box: "all models are wrong, some are useful". I discuss this principle with individual coachees, teams and team leaders this before giving them homework or some brief presentation on Belbin's Team Role theory.

I also explain about the problems of labels, and how labels applied to people become truthes that get played out. (see Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (UK) (or US) for further information)

There are a number of ways to apply the Belbin Team Roles theory, which all provide shades of correctness. All applications provide valuable team member role insights and can be quite usefully combined with team building activities or coachee plan assignments.

The easiest, and only sanctioned way to apply the Belbin Team Roles Test, is to go online to http://www.belbin.com and purchase the required number of tests for you and your team. The online Belbin test reports are generated and emailed to you. The assessments are fantastically detailed and provide plenty of material to help a team improve and to give team members insights into themselves as people and members of "this" team they are currently members of. I recommend this approach for excellent results!

There is an alternative free Belbin Test that also works albeit unsupported and to a lesser scientific and correct level:

Step 1: Read everything you can on Meredith Belbin, the history of the team role theory, the opposition, and the advocates.

Step 2: Especially make sure to read and understand the Belbin Team Roles
- http://www.belbin.com/content/page/49/BELBIN(uk)-2011-TeamRoleSummaryDescriptions.pdf
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Team_Role_Inventories
- http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_83.htm

Step 3: Have your coachee read the above links as well. Or in a team context, I discuss the roles (Plant, Resource Investigator, Monitor Evaluator, Co-ordinator, Shaper, Teamworker, Implementer, Completer Finisher, Specialist) and many of the points from the 3 above links with the team.

Step 4: Now have the coachee or the team members self-select the order of the 9 Belbin roles as they see themselves. Not really surprisingly, people know from previous feedback over the years of their lives if they are extroverted or introverted; if they prefer analysing new problems or finishing off final details of things; if they like to delegate or prefer to receive direction; etc, etc)

Belbin Team Roles Are Preferences Dependent On Dynamics And Context

Step 5 (for teams): Have the team members then rate each of the other members' top 3 Belbin roles as they see them. Again, not really surprising, team members also know how their colleagues are and usually can educated-guess-place them in appropriate Belbin Team Roles - once they know what those roles are!

Each team member can now combine and collate the results for themselves.

Step 6: Evaluate with the coachee/every team member how much resonance they feel with the top 3 roles others have placed them into. Is there a match between self perception and team member perception? If not, how much difference on a scale of 1-10? In what ways can the coachee think to close the gap or to make their own self perception the reality? Perhaps more feedback should be collected and then a re-evaluation. Every situation is different and it is helpful to have loads more coaching and coaching tools available if and when required!

Step 7 (optional): If at this stage the coachee or team really wants to evaluate still further, an online free Belbin test is at: http://www.123test.com/team-roles-test/. It has fewer and less detailed questions than the actual Belbin test and I can't attest to the correctness of its results at the time of writing this.

Jo Keeler, from the Belbin Institute as posted in the comments below, clearly indicates this "free Belbin test" is an unsanctioned Belbin test (and therefore probably should be called something else!).

The Belbin Team Role is a very useful and powerful self-perception/awareness tool that is easy to grasp by those with less time or psychology foundation. In some respects it is not important that it is 100% accurate at this stage as it could be an illumination and/or reflection of how/who the person actually wants to be. Other feedback from the workplace, or from experiential team building, or training events will make the picture clearer for each individual and the team as a whole - leading towards a high performance team.

With more self-awareness of natural team role(s) placement, and the ability to sensibly apply the Belbin model to self and colleagues, opens up possibilities to understand more about the workplace and give insights into what possible steps to take to change it/oneself as required.

For the coachee, this view can be used as input to their coaching plan, to set some goals to acquire new skills and behaviours (eg a natural Plant who's ambition is to become a Co-ordinator) or wishes to improve their team's effectiveness (eg evaluating for a missing or under-represented role).

For the team or the team leader, balancing of Belbin team roles is key. Too many of 1 role or a total lack of a  role, causes the team to behave/perform in sub-optimal ways. Awareness of the team roles and the Belbin theory is useful to encourage people to acquire new behaviours if they're interested, to set SMART Goals to encourage different outcomes, and even to help influence the next recruitment opportunity.

Thank you!

My favourite coaching tools: Stephen R Covey's Four Quadrants For Time Usage

Caveats:
Another very simple and effective tool to provide, to teach, yet the power of habit and the interference of self-perception often means that coachees struggle to fully deploy the Four Quadrants and learn from the data they collect about themselves. Practice will be required especially by those who are "too busy" - in fact as a coach you may have to help your coachee capture all the correct details by seating yourself near them if possible.

I first read about this tool in Stephen R Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (UK) (or US) which provides a link to a PDF containing basically the steps below. I believe the tool is actually presented in First Things First (UK) (or US) co-authored by Stephen and A. Roger Merrill which I have not read yet.

Required:
Sheet of A4 and a pen
A day in the life of the coachee
Ruler (optional)

Step 1: Help your coachee to create 4 quadrants on the piece of paper. Turn the paper lengthwise and draw a vertical line through the middle as well as a horizontal line also through the middle.

Step 2: Label Column 1: "Urgent" and Column 2: "Not Urgent"

Step 3: Label Row 1: "Important" and Row 2: "Unimportant"

Step 4: Pick a day in the life of the coachee where they will capture all the tasks and activities they engage in, on this matrix. A simple 1 worder should be sufficient.

As a coach with a very busy coachee, you might seat yourself nearby and create the same matrix for your coachee to compare with later.

Step 5: At the end of the day, the coachee should have approximately 30 words. Some might have as few as 5-10 (in which case your own observation version might be required, or simply more practice).

Step 6: Ask the coachee to guesstimate how much time was spent performing each of the tasks and activities noted.

Step 7: Now calculate the percentage of time spent in each of the quadrants

Step 8: Now label the top left quadrant as "I: Burned Out", the top right quadrant as "II: Change Agent", the bottom left quadrant as "III: Bored But Busy" and the bottom right quadrant as "IV: Fired"

You can use Rory Bowman's Public Domain picture to discuss the quadrants further:

Covey Matrix

Step 9: Put the date on the sheet of paper and have your coachee either punch holes and file it, or take a photograph and file that safely on email/computer

Step 10: Put a note in the calendar to repeat this exercise in about a month to see if there has been any shift.

Usually the 2nd and 3rd running of the tool by the coachee does result in a small change to the amount of time spent in Quadrant II - where Covey suggests people should be. This is because the coachee is trying to improve themselves, and are now aware of the danger of Quadrant IV "work", as well as, unfortunately, trying to improve/change to impress you as the coach. Make sure to reiterate that coaching is for their benefit and that they're trying to break bad habits and increase good habits to improve their happiness at work, to become more effective, to get promoted even.

Some coachees get quite excited and suggest creating and completing 1 of these every day but I advise against this as it just creates more data, which needs to be interpreted and could result in overload / not seeing the wood for the trees. Sometimes though, I do ask the coachee to put 4 questions on the wall/monitor in front of them at work: "Burn out?", "Bored?", "Fired?" and "Change agent?" which seems to have quite a positive effect for the first few weeks - until the new thought processes are more familiar.

Change is hard, and change takes time and dedication to make happen, especially to/for oneself. 

Or

Change is easy, can take place spontaneously fast, especially to/for oneself.

"There is no try" - Yoda

My favourite coaching tools: 1-1 meetings

Caveats:

1-1 meetings can be intimidating, especially for those who have had none or very few, or they've been used by managers purely for reprimands instead of growth opportunities.

I've learned what I know through experience and reading - especially I think Johanna Rothman and Esther Derby's Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management is a must read for running successful 1-1's.

Requirements:

Safe quiet space - sometimes hiding in plain sight eg in canteens is also a good place so long as you can still hear and see each other perfectly.

Notepad and pen - I advise using low-fi as much as possible as they are less intrusive and always work. Easy to update later, and refer back to before your next meeting.

Optional:
Highly recommend scheduling 1 hour sessions every 2 weeks way in advance at a time in the diary of the coachee that is a good time - preferably not straight after their hard meetings and preferably not when they are most needed by their team members or managers for important things. Change takes concentration, focus and commitment - as coach you can't control these but you can be skilful in making them more possible.

Step 1:

The trick is to have an open discussion, full of open questions. At the beginning, it seems a bit strange for people who have never done this before to know what to say, what to ask, so it is important to build up a relationship by taking an active interest in discovery about what is common to both. To discover the opportunities where you can offer some advice or shortcuts, to discover other areas where you may need more tools or data from others to truly help the coachee.

I generally give my 1-3 minute intro, and ask the coachee to do the same, picking up on common career moments, or outside interests, or phrases or - whatever catches my attention. And then start to ask questions around those things, ensuring as I do that the coachee relaxes. If the coachee does not relax, there is always a next time to try again. While coaching is not counselling, deep relationships are still established and must be done sensitively and sensibly.

I take notes especially of things I can do outside the meeting to help - for instance referals to other people, books or websites. Towards the end of the meeting I setup a working agreement/plan about what I will do for the next meeting, and what the coachee will do eg meet someone, read a web site. In the early days the "homework" I give is usually short and used as basis for conversation in the followup 1-1 meeting.

Step 2:
I like to summarise the meeting in an email, especially what I have to do and by when, and what the coachee has to do and by when. For some coachees, this might be the opportunity to complete an Myers-Briggs for me/them (see Free online Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).

The way I create these summaries is important and simple. After every meeting, I summarise in email by forwarding the previous emailed summary. This creates a rolling log that is extremely easy to manage, always backed up by email servers, and a simple format to check progress - dates, timeline sequence, agreements, what was done, what was not done, etc very easy, and I've successfully used weekly rolling logs in this way for over a year. But this does not replace my low-fi notepad and pen for during the meeting - I sometimes also end up drawing things!

Step 3:
I do my "homework" (or actions if you prefer such speak). This begins to form the basis of trust for someone who does not know me - I do what I say, repeat, repeat. And I hope that the coachee is also doing their "homework". Sometimes I drop-in and check if I can help to ensure that the actions are being done - especially in cases where progress is slow or non-existent. I like to discover what in the workplace could be blocking the coachee - in order to strategise to unblock progress.

Step 4:
The 2nd 1-1 about 2 weeks later. It usually goes a lot smoother as the ice is broken and there is progress to report on both sides, and some homework to specifically discuss and put effort into. Or, there is no progress and this too is something to specifically discuss and decide to put further effort into or not. In opt-in engagements, people opt-in by doing, and they opt-out by not doing. There is no right or wrong as it is all about what can be done with the time and effort allowed.

I like to hear about what work problems were encountered since the previous 1-1. What they thought about the homework, what questions they have now for me. Then I like to clarify and rephrase my understanding. If there is homework output/outcomes then we discuss that for a bit (helps to know a lot more about the homework you've given in order to have a fruitful and enlightening discussion!).

During all this talking, again I am making notes like in the first meeting. And I am checking each item on the agreement list of what the coachee achieved, and what I achieved. Usually this cycle results in a couple more actions for both of us, and then I request the next piece of homework....

And this essentially is how I use 1-1's. They're status meetings, repeated, to enable shared understanding and for me to offer help as well as point in the direction of useful things as homework for the coachee. This inevitably creates more work for both of us - just enough for us to do in the 2 weeks inbetween.

Some tips:
If the homework is too much, then it is not completed - for either of us.
If the meeting is too long, then summarising it is too hard - try to always leave wanting more!
If there is no progress, and it seems like there won't be before the next session, decide together to stop sessions until there is enough slack time again for the coachee to continue their growth plan

For extra depth in getting 1-1's right, I also highly recommend Stephen R Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.